Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
