You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
