i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
