I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
