Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
