I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
where am i from again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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