She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
