they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
