Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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