Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
