Screwed.edu
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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