***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
