We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
