i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
