Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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