can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Drunk is not a location!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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