I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
