I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
