Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize