and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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