somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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