I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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