This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
