Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have aggressive nipples.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
