Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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