Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
