It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
