I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
