I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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