I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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