Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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