Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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