She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
