there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
