I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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