she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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