i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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