I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
