I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
