It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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