Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
