: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
