They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
