And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
