I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
