census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
