Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So apparently I’m into choking now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
