i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
