wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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