I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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