can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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