Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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