from now on my penis is your penis
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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