Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
