They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize