i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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