So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
