shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
