It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You did what with his pubic hair?
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