The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
